The authenticity trap


You certainly like authentic people … everyone of us likes authentic people.

With authentic people we always know, where we stand, what they think and feel,
what occupies them and what they are up to.

These unaffected people don’t make a secret out of their inner self.

This is, what makes the contact so pleasant and so efficient.


It is no wonder:

Authenticity is “en vogue”.

There is hardly any coaching event without a training unit for authenticity.
Hardly any leadership book without a chapter to authentic leadership.


But how authentic do you like it?


Here an example:

Let us assume you have a date with a hyper-authentic girl for lunch.

The girl appears 20 minutes too late – finally – her hair disheveled like a cat had routed it.
She mutters an excuse and blazes abroad in the restaurant, that she is really not in the mood
for a lunch and just not here, in this trend establishment of three days ago.

Everyone around is completely irritated, and the people at the side tables put down their forks.
Then the girl bows over the table, grasps your glass of wine and drinks it empty, with the words:
“Sorry, I was just so thirsty!”

After the starter, she rests her head on the table and begins to fall asleep.
When the main course is served, she suddenly wakes up, stretches herself, yawns and grins:
“You should know, without my power nap I am not myself!”
Then she begins to eat the spaghetti with her fingers.


Do you know, what this is?

Pure authenticity!


My advice:

Forget setting too much on authenticity!

It should never be TOO much authenticity!


We always expect some kind of etiquette, good behavior, manners and self-control.
Especially in face-to-face contact.

Online there are certainly many people, who have learned to come over just as this girl.
These people “live out” being online.
They hide themselves behind the screen and present themselves in self-dramatisation.


Take a personality, a politician, for example.

Such a person is respected, because he keeps his promises.
And such a person never would reveal his inner self to such an extent, that he completely “forgets”
himself and his good behaviour.
We do not expect from this person, that he reveals his inner weaknesses and melts with self-doubt.
A politician appears professionally, does not gossip, never complains and demonstrates good manners.


Authenticity means having inner stability.


A dog may be authentic, but you are a human being.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *